found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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