I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
