i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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