it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
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i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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