There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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