my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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