Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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