do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
