I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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