marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Less talking, more tequila
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
