why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
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Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
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