i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
