I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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