Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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