I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
