i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
