Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
