Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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