Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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