well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
