Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
