is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize