in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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