She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
