If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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