I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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