New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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