Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
This baby is an asshole
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
