i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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