i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize