I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
