do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
