I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
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