She's JV to your varsity
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
