his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
