He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize