Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
