all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
