she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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