She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
