Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
