i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize