If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
