Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
