I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
