Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
