after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize