he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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