Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
