I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
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Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
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We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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