Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
