I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
