we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
