is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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