Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
