Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
